Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or professional, and this is not medical information, only advice.
Ah, depression. The old friend who constantly shows up with dreary eyes who sits in the corner of your room. She tells you she wants to go out and have fun, but she pushes you down when you try to leave. She can be confusing, and at times even scary. But I’ve learned how to beat her. Actually, I’ve learned to coexist with Depression.
Back when I was about 15-17, my depression was at its worst. I would lie in bed, wanting desperately to go out and find a distraction from the thoughts in my head, but I felt shackled to the mattress. I’d go to school exhausted, staring at the clock until I could be in the solitary comfort of my room. In or out , I was never really happy.
School dragged me down. The curriculum, the teachers, the students. Being alone left me to confront my thoughts and wage wars in my head that weren’t even reasonable. I struggled with self harm since I was 14, and my family probably doesn’t even know about it.
Over time, I began to change. I began to analyze what was happening, why and when I felt the way I did. You see, depression isn’t always just random. Sometimes you can cause it without even realizing it. Take school for example. I realized that I was hanging around the wrong people. People invested in drama and ridiculous arguments- they don’t deserve your attention, let alone the sake of your well-being. So slowly (even though it hurt), I started drifting away from those people. Even those who happened to be my best friends. You see, your friends and the people you associate with should be positive for you. They should motivate you and bring out the best in you. They shouldn’t only come to you when they need something. That is not a true friend, even if you have fun sometimes. That took a long time to learn, and I’m still learning.
The second thing is this: things aren’t always as bad as they seem. I’m a firm believer that you are allowed to feel every emotion, but, that doesn’t mean it’s real, and that doesn’t mean you have to act on it. A lot of the time when I thought “oh my god I hate this”,”I can’t do this”, or “I feel worthless/dead/alone/etc”, I was overreacting. My advice to you, is when you feel a negative emotion coming, face it. When you feel drained and tired and sad, stop for a second. Take a long, deep breath, and ask “why”. Why am I feeling this? Why did this occur? Why aren’t I happy? Analyzing what’s wrong can lead you to something as simple as “I’m tired”. And that is completely 100% okay. Find the source of the problem, and do what you can to fix it. Talk to someone if you feel you need to.
In the opposite light, sometimes depression is a good thing. When you feel down, you tend to over-analyze things. Use that to your advantage. If you get upset about a problem you’re having, the depression can sometimes help you think of options you hadn’t or wouldn’t have thought of if you were in a better mood. Take my friend story I mentioned earlier. If I was happier, I might have just said “oh, this person is using me, but that’s okay because I’m their friend”. Instead, because of your mood, it’s become “this feels wrong”. Don’t let yourself be drawn to negative situations because of how you are feeling. Do things and spend time with people that make you happy.
My very last tip is to express how you feel. This is something I should’ve learned long ago. Expressing how you feel doesn’t just mean talking to someone. Write, draw, or work out. Do something that lets you take what you’re feeling, and turn it into something else, rather than taking it out on yourself in a harmful way. Trust me, it’s a lot better this way.
Everyone has times where they feel powerless, upset, frustrated, and done. And that’s totally okay. I mean it. Don’t let anyone tell you that what you’re feeling isn’t valid or that you’re doing it for attention. Everyone has their struggles they go through, and I hope I can help you through yours. Again, I am not a professional, I’m just a girl trying to help.
Whats your opinion? Do you have any stories, feedback, or advice for other readers? Leave a comment down below and make sure to like this post and follow me so I know I’m helping you out!
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