It’s in our blood to disagree. Humans are unique individuals with equally as unique thoughts and opinions. While the majority of our time is spent in harmony, there is always the chance for something to get stirred up.
Usually these disagreements are trivial and resolved pretty quickly (because it’s not my fault I don’t want burgers for dinner!). But, larger and longer-lasting conflict can really make you take a step back and do some hard thinking.
Be honest, how many times have you had an argument with your best friend and wondered if the friendship was worth it? How many times have you gotten into a fight with your significant other and it made you wonder if there was someone better for you?
I’m guilty of both of those scenarios, as I’m sure you are, too. And that’s okay! Because here’s the thing:
No one is perfect.
It took me a while to get that into my head. The image of the perfect person (boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, sibling, etc)…throw it away. The only way to get that “perfection” is if you’re Frankenstein himself.
In life, you’re obviously going to want to find people you get along with. People who motivate you, make you laugh, and make you happy. But once those things are compromised, it can be challenging to decide what to do.
For your own well-being, you have to take into consideration/ask yourself these three things:
- Do I usually get along with this person? If you can still laugh, goof off, share thoughts and ideas, and be yourself around them, chances are they’re worth the effort.
- Do they make me feel drained or do they have negative energy? If they’re constantly bringing drama into your life, they’re probably doing more harm than good.
- Would your life significantly change without them? While I would usually urge you not to compare people to others, sometimes you have to weight the pros and cons.
Regardless if the answers you keep coming up with are negative or positive, you two need to have a serious discussion. Sometimes the lack of communication between two people is all that’s keeping them from maintaining a healthy relationship.
But you also need to remember that you don’t need to agree 100% on everything. If they like being active and you don’t, if they do something that absolutely drives you crazy, sometimes that’s okay. Relationships are about finding a person that knows you for you, and loves you anyway, even if you don’t always get along.
Similarly, if the two of you are always disagreeing, whether it be over large or small subjects, and you can’t sit down long enough to have a calm discussion, something has to be done. While it is okay to not get a long, it shouldn’t be a constant. They need to have some sort of level ground with you, but it’s okay if that changes over time.
I know from experience that you can go through a lot of things that make you change your mindset and opinions, and that can make it difficult to get along with someone you used to. But you have to look out for yourself in those situations. Even if it hurts to drift apart or cut ties.
The urge to have everything be the way you want, whether to avoid mishaps or obtain the “perfect relationship” can be really stressful. Trust me, I know. But don’t try to control other people. Like I said, relationships are about finding people who you might not necessarily be the same as, but you love them anyway.
The bottom line is this: relationships with people aren’t supposed to be stressful or bring in negativity. It is perfectly okay (and healthy!) to get into fights and disagree every once and a while. No one is perfect- make sure they’re worth the fight, and find people who love you for the perfectly imperfect being you are.
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